Control?

I’ve planned this post in my head for months now and not written it. As a kick in the butt, I came across this tonight: http://www.wimp.com/alwaysnow/ (I recommend you watch it to). It wasn’t that the video reminded me of the accident and the temporary status of “alive”, it simply reminded me to do things now.

Back in October I had a weird dizzy incident, unfortunately while riding my motorbike down the freeway. The result was that I crossed 3 lanes of traffic and hit the central reservation at about 70km/h. I found myself lying on the reservation from where I stood up and waited for the broken parts of me to start to hurt. Surprisingly, nothing agonising hit so I started to look around for the bike. I spotted it  half in the fast lane of the freeway looking distinctly less healthy than me and surrounded by traffic, plus I was feeling a bit spaced out, so I sat down on the railing and started to think about how the hell I was going to get me and my bike home. I was still pondering this when an ambulance arrived. 

I was pretty confident that I wasn’t seriously injured and I instinctively believed it was my responsibility to get the bike out of the road, myself and the bike home and allow the several thousand motorists I’d just thrust into a Sunday afternoon logjam to continue on their journey. I was going to explain this to the paramedics, but they immediately banned me from moving while they closed the freeway so they could put me in a neck brace and strap me to a body board! It was then that I finally realised that they were going to help me whether I liked it or not. 

That was a long winded way of getting to the point of this post:  I had never thought about this before but a series of moments can combine to create a situation where society removes you of all liberty - for your and their good. From the moment I hit that central reservation it didn’t matter what I did or said, I had become part of a protocol that was to be followed and I had become a passenger. My sense of control from the moment of the accident on was an illusion.

I could shout, kick, scream, threaten to sue, swear on all that is holy that I was okay and I would still get strapped down and shuttled to a hospital (perhaps tranquilised if I went too far with the kicking and screaming part).

I’m not saying I wanted to do any of these things, just the opposite – I was immensely grateful to the guys helping me and relieved to not have to think about what to do next. But it was also kind of surreal. I’m so used to feeling like I need to take control and find resolutions and now I wasn’t allowed. 

That’s the thought I wanted to tell you, but I also need you to know about the folk who helped me:

The paramedics and hospital staff were amazing. Anyone who knocks the NHS should ride a motorcycle into a concrete barrier at speed and try dealing with the damage without the NHS. To be clear, by global standards the NHS is great despite the UK’s love for pointing out its faults. The NHS strives for great healthcare for every person, an inspirational goal I firmly believe should be central to every government’s policy, and they achieve it more often than not.

The policemen were also amazing. First they drove from the accident scene to the hospital to see how I was, then they tried to fix my phone to get a phone number for Tina (it was well beyond fixable), then drove an hour to my house to tell Tina where I was, then drove an hour back to bring her to the hospital when they realised she had no transport and only then, late on a Sunday afternoon, did they leave to go home.

Thank you guys.